How Tirzah Got Her Groove Back

These cupcakes are from the Babycakes cookbook. They are vegan, and also wheat-free. Somehow, they are also delicious.

I made peanut butter frosting to go on top, which was not vegan as it consisted mostly of butter.

The combination was a little too sweet for me, but as you can see, the boys loved it.

Down to the very last crumb.

It's not surprising; the crumbs were moist. The chocolate cake was very chocolaty, and subtly sweet. I'm continually impressed with Erin McKenna's food sensibilities, even if she doesn't use butter. The woman knows how to make tasty treats, even a bacon-loving heavy cream-wielding carnivore like me can agree on that.

My trainer has celiac disease, which means she cannot eat wheat for reasons far more serious than the restrictions facing Jack. She is also allergic to eggs and most dairy, so I made a vegan glaze to go on top of a cupcake for her.

To make up for the lack of butter, I made it beautiful.

Also, the boys were being crazy that day and it felt like an extravagance to spend ten minutes decorating a single cupcake using a toothpick. It was great.

If you're wondering how to safely transport a single cupcake, here's a very clever idea I did not come up with on my own.

Community is a wonderful thing. After weeks of culinary depression and fantasizing about cheese danishes, I am back. It took me a while to rediscover my passion for food, but with a lot of help I did it.

It started with the Babycakes book that Sonia borrowed on my behalf; it occurred to me then how nice it is that Jack has a grandma who is such a wonderful advocate for his well-being. Then, strolling the aisles of PCC the other night(alone!), I came across Gluten-free Girl: How I found the food that loves me back, and how you can too. I'm familiar with the Gluten-free Girl website, but I'd never read her book. I picked it up and scanned a few pages, reading at random. I realized that what I held in my hands was the hard-earned result of months of work after years- decades even- of suffering. The author, Shauna James Ahern, has celiac disease. Celiac disease causes the body to attack gluten, destroying the intestines in the process. All kinds of digestive pains and problems ensue, as the body is unable to pull nutrients from any food eaten. Shauna was not diagnosed until the age of 38. She is now healthy and happy, thanks to living gluten-free, and she shares recipes and encouragement on her website and through her book. The book is part cookbook, part memoir, and wholly fantastic. Shauna is not only a celiac survivor and talented cook, she is also a gifted writer who will make you laugh out loud and shed a tear or two for the years she spent suffering while still undiagnosed. Although Jack doesn't have celiac disease(that we know of, apparently it runs in the family and testing may be in order), he could still benefit from all the wheat-free recipes. I bought the book hoping to find some tasty meals, but this book is so much more. Even if you don't have any food allergies it is still a totally fascinating read, chronicling the story of a woman whose body tortured her for nearly forty years before she triumphantly learned to heal herself.

It's also been really comforting that my best friend Anna's kids are also wheat-free; when we take our kids out to dinner and order cheeseburgers without the bun, Jack doesn't feel like a freak because his friend Talia is eating the same thing. It is so, so important to have a community. It keeps us from feeling isolated and provides a way for the people who can help each other to connect and trade helpful information. I've had numerous gluten-free restaurant and recipe recommendations from friends at church, and am consistently comforted and inspired by the openness and warmth of the wheat-free community. There is something transformational about taking a painful experience and turning it into something that can improve the life of someone else. To that end, my intention is to take all the resources and support I've been given and pay it forward, donating my culinary prowess to the wheat-free community as I march on into a wheat-free kitchen future, whisk and wooden spoon in hand. We may be giving up wheat, but we have gained a lot in the process: a real way to help my son's body heal, a community I was not previously a part of which has been instrumental in helping me not feel lost and overwhelmed, and a new springboard for cooking inspiration. I'm learning to use new ingredients and I'm certain I will encounter multiple failures in the future, but any failure or success that comes my way will be shared and the failures will be less painful, the successes sweeter.