Friday, July 25, 2008

Some Practical Advice

Before I go to the dentist, I brush my teeth. Before I see my OB/GYN, I take a shower. What does one do before seeing the chiropractor? Well, don't wear a skirt. Especially a short one. Thankfully I didn't come to this knowledge painfully, but preemptively. For my adjustments the doctor has me lie on my stomach on a funky table and occasionally requires me to lift up one leg at a time, draw my heels up towards my bum, and a few other diagnostic manuevers that would be difficult to pull off modestly in a skirt. Also, wearing a high-necked shirt is helpful as you're getting up off the table to avoid inappropriate flashing. Also, wear non-chunky shoes. For back doctors, chiropractors touch your feet a lot. They do this to check the alignment of your hips. When I came in the first time, my right leg pulled up 1 1/2" higher than my left. Now my legs are even. Lucky for my chiropractors, I have quite the collection of cute shoes. Being straight men they have failed to remark on this fact, but I think it brightens their day. My adjustments are going well and I can finally feel some improvement in my back, but I find it hard sometimes not to giggle. My trouble spot is my sciatic nerve where it leaves my sacrum and runs out into my hip before traveling down the length of my right leg; my sacrum is crooked, putting pressure on the sciatic nerve. Correcting this necessitates adjusting my sacrum, which, if you're familiar with the location of this bone, you know is right smack dab in the middle of your bum. I have always found it difficult to maintain a clinical attitude during situations like that, and am grateful that the doctor cannot see my face during an adjustment. I just can't help thinking, "In any other situation, it would be totally inappropriate for you to have your hands there." What am I, a third-grader? Seriously...

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