The Trouble with Red Velvet

 I'm  not a fan of dye or artificial ingredients, so when I was asked to make a red velvet wedding cake I was determined to do it naturally.  The baking frenzy that ensued was the most obsessive cooking endeavor I've ever been involved with, and included the boiling, roasting, pureeing and reducing of many many pounds of cooked beets.  I won't lie; it got ugly. 

 I baked between two and five sample cakes a day, a single-layer eight inch round, auditioning different recipes and trying different tricks between crazy amounts of googling.  I have read everything ever published on the internet about red velvet cake.  The results were mostly cakes that were decidedly neither red nor velvety, and the only one I succeeded in keeping red tasted like borscht. 

 The problem is pH.  Baked goods that are red are acidic; baking soda, the main leavening agent in baked goods, is alkaline.  An alkaline cake = brown cake.  I tried and tried and tried: I added more acid, left out the baking soda, reduced the beets for longer, added tons of lemon juice directly to the beets.  I'd end up most times with a beautifully scarlet batter, but 30 minutes later I'd pull a brown cake out of the oven. 

 I finally gave in and bought red dye, then baked off the wedding cake, wrapped it and froze it.  Then proceeded to have nightmares about how brown the cake still was, and woke up with a conviction: I'm not proud of that cake. 

So I started again.

 In all, I baked 27 layers of cake over the course of four days.  The final result, while brown on the outside, was a satisfying ruby red on the inside thanks to the four jars of red gel dye I used.

 It was an interesting lesson in delivering a product I was not, in an ultimate sense, proud of.  I don't believe in sacrificing flavor for visual presentation, and the nature of red velvet cake is such that only a minimal amount of cocoa powder can be used without turning the whole thing brown.  In my rebellion, I added extra vanilla, lemon zest and a pinch of cinnamon.  I'm not going to bother putting up the recipe, because taste-wise it was unremarkable.  I realized the next day that when I scaled up the recipe I finally settled on after dozens of changes and substitutions, I forgot to scale up the amount sour cream I used and the final cake came out a little dry.  I got lots of feedback about the frosting, which confirmed my belief that cake is really just a vehicle for frosting.  I hate that about cake. 

Flowers by Maureen Arpin

I'm not sure what I'll do if I'm asked to make another red velvet cake.  I understand the appeal of a jewel-red cake visually, but the flavor trade off still troubles me on a deeply spiritual level.  Pleasure should be about pleasure, and when all is said and done I'd rather eat an ugly tasty cake than a beautiful flavorless one.  That's what troubles me about this wedding cake; it failed to maximize the opportunity for pleasure, something I feel confident my previous wedding cakes accomplished.  

Still, it was an interesting experience to add to my cake baking evolution.  I look back at some of the cakes I've made and cringe with embarrassment that I served them in public, but I realize that I had to make those first, lumpy cakes to get to the smooth, sleek ones.  Because I'm all about growth.

Let it Snow(please)

We had an absolutely wonderful Christmas, which I'll share later. We got a (very)light dusting of snow this morning which has me lusting after other people's weather. Since I have children to feed, a dinner party to prepare for and a wedding cake to make, for now I'll leave you with these incredibly lovely images from Meg and Maya.

If you prefer something sweeter to look at, last night when I was too jazzed over my wedding cake sketches to sleep I got up and put together this album. The first cake(picture above) in the album is my most recent, from Iain and Jiyoon's wedding in October.

Officially not Messing Around

I would tell you the final count of eggs, butter and sugar that came in and out of my oven this weekend, but I'm tired.

I can tell you that I made Swiss Buttercream in obscene quantities. Those nine cubes of butter up there? All of them went into a single batch of frosting, which I need to re-post a recipe for because I've changed it since the last time I lost my head and thought, "I can make a wedding cake, it won't be that hard."

The good news is, I'm getting better at this every time. Last time, I didn't realize how long all that mixing was going to take. Knowing a little better what I had gotten myself into, I borrowed my sister's mixer. This was a brilliant move on my part.

The whole thing was still fairly stressful, mostly the part where everything took seven times longer than I thought it would. With this wedding, I arrived a full hour before the wedding began which is a huge improvement over my first wedding. It still took so long that at a few minutes after 4:00 I realized the wedding had started and I was still wearing jeans and cleaning up stray petals. I made a mad dash to the kitchen with my cake gear, stashed it in a corner, then sprinted out to my car which was parked in a corner that was hopefully out of sight enough that no one saw me get dressed for the wedding in the passenger's seat. I wore the same dress I did for the last wedding, at which point I realized that I hadn't shaved my legs since the last wedding. Which was July 24th. Luckily I have baby-fine leg hair and not a generous supply, but I still felt less than put together. One of these days I will be on top of this situation enough to actually do my hair for a wedding or(gasp!) wear actual lipstick, but for now I end up being the sacrificial lamb for the sake of a good-looking cake.

It was definitely easier the second time around, a trend which I'm hoping continues because I've got two more wedding cakes and one baby shower cake, all in October. I'm not wildly opposed to having a little break before then, and making things that are the opposite of cake. Like soup.

I find it shocking how much sugar gets used in American desserts. Shocking and distasteful. So in my cake, I took a bunch of the sugar out. I also don't approve of how flavorless white cake is, which makes sense if you're simply using it as a vehicle for frosting, but since I actually wanted people to taste the cake I took a bunch of sugar out of the frosting too. A whole cup, which is also how much sugar I took out of the cake recipe. My other white cake secrets are lots of vanilla and- my new favorite cake ingredient- freshly ground nutmeg. I was worried that it might make the cake taste Christmas-y or Thanksgiving-y, but it didn't at all. It made it taste donut-y and lovely, and if you use ingredients that have actual flavor you can get away with way less sugar. I tried several variations of this cake, and stopped when I left a cake out on the counter and everyone who walked by kept eating it. Aaron is not a big cake person, but as he said "I really just want to keep eating this cake." I told him that was the idea. A friend kept me company the night before the wedding, and was standing next to the pile of scraps I had cut off of the layers when leveling the cake. We were talking about something funny when she realized she'd been eating the scraps and said, "You know what's NOT funny? This cake." That's the amazing thing about this cake; it has the power to turn non-dessert people into cake lovers.

Buttermilk Donut Cake

Adapted from Ina Garten's 'Barefoot Contessa Family Style'

Makes one 12x18 sheet cake, or three 8-inch round cakes, or one each 10-in, 8-inch and 6-inch round cake.

2 1/4 sticks butter, softened

2 cups sugar

6 eggs

1 cup buttermilk or sour cream

4 tsp. vanilla

3 cups all-purpose flour

1/3 cup cornstarch

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

1 TB freshly grated nutmeg

Preheat the oven to 350. Butter your cake pan(s). If you plan on turning the cake out of the pan when it's finished, line the bottom of your pan with parchment paper and butter the parchment paper.

In a small bowl, combine the flour, cornstarch, baking soda and salt. Whisk together until well combined and set aside.

Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy.

With mixer(or egg beater) on low speed, add the eggs one at a time.

Add the vanilla and nutmeg, and mix until just incorporated.

Add the buttermilk, mixing until just combined.

Add the flour mixture in three parts at very low speed, scraping down the bowl between additions. Don't get lazy and skip this part, or when you pour the batter into the pan you're going to find a big pocket of buttermilk and eggs at the bottom. After the last of the flour has been added, finish mixing by hand with a rubber spatula making sure to scrape all the way to the bottom of the bowl. Bake for 25-30 minutes(if baking wedding cake layers, check them after 20 minutes). When the sides begin to pull away from the side of the pan, it's done. I have found this to be the definitive test for cake doneness, and don't even bother to poke the middle with a toothpick anymore. I did several times, but whenever the sides are pulling away the toothpick ALWAYS comes out clean.

Cool the cake on a rack for five minutes, then run a knife around the sides of the pan and turn the cake out onto the rack to cool. If you're baking this cake for later, wrap gently but firmly in plastic wrap and freeze. If freezes beautifully and the finished cake will be exceptionally moist, since the wrapping and freezing trap lots of moisture that otherwise would have escaped as steam. You can eat this cake on its own, totally unadorned, or sprinkle it with powdered sugar(cinnamon sugar would be lovely also)(Oooh! or brush it with an orange zest glaze!). It tastes like donut holes. If you must frost it, I recommend the following:

Whipped Chocolate Chip Ganache Filling

2 cups heavy cream

1 1/4 cups chocolate chips

Heat the cream in a saucepan over medium high heat until steaming but NOT boiling. Pour into a bowl, add the chocolate chips, and let it stand for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, stir thoroughly to combine. Cool in the fridge until well chilled, then whip as you would whipping cream. Don't get hasty and try to whip it when it's still warm, it won't turn into whipped cream. Spread between cake layers.

New and Improved Swiss Buttercream

This makes a quantity of frosting, enough to frost a two-layer sheet cake. Recipe can be cut: 8 egg whites, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 6 cubes of butter, 3/4 tsp. vanilla.

12 egg whites

2 cups sugar

5 cubes butter

4 cubes unsalted butter

1 tsp. vanilla

Place eggs whites and sugar in a stainless steel bowl(a glass bowl works, but metal heats up so much faster) and place over a pot of simmering water, making sure the water isn't touching the bottom of the bowl. Whisk the egg whites and sugar until you can't feel any sugar granules when you dip your finger in the mixture and wipe it against the side of the bowl. This can take anywhere from 5-10 minutes, depending on how hot your water is when you start. Do not use boiling water and do not walk away from the bowl or your egg whites will cook too much.

When the sugar is dissolved, remove the bowl from the pot of simmering water(wearing oven mitts is a good idea to protect against steam burn) and place it on a towel. You want to make sure to wipe all the water off the bowl so that when you pour your egg whites into the bowl of your mixer, they're not contaminated with condensation(which will keep them from whipping up properly). With whisk attachment, mix in a stand mixer on high until stiff peaks form and the bowl is room temperature when you touch the outside with your hand. While the egg whites and sugar are whipping, cut each cube of butter into eight pieces. When the egg whites reach the stiff peaks stage, turn the mixer speed down to medium-low and toss the butter pieces in one at a time. You can do this fairly quickly, but the idea is to get the butter evenly distributed. When all the butter has been added, add the vanilla and then turn the mixer back to high. The mixture will curdle. Don't panic. Keep mixing, eventually it will emulsify. I find it's best of I don't actually watch this part, because it freaks me out every time. Find something to do after you've added the butter; make yourself a cup of tea, check your e-mail, panic that you're a fake baker and not a REAL wedding cake baker, and after a couple of deep breaths go back over to the mixer and admire your beautifully smooth frosting. Don't worry about being away from the mixer for too long, I once walked away for fully 15 minutes and nothing bad happened. It might be possible to over-whip this frosting, but I haven't found that threshold yet.

I've made several versions of this frosting, and I think the 12 egg white version is my favorite. It is the lightest, not-too-sweet frosting I've ever had. The unsalted butter keeps it from being too rich, but it is still pretty decadent. That's nine cubes of butter we're talking about here. But let's be honest, we're making cake, not steamed vegetables. Although, I put butter on my steamed vegetables too. Just not nine cubes of it.

...and now for something completely different

Thank you all for your support over my little nervous breakdown. I wake up almost every day feeling happy just because, and it distresses me when that doesn't happen. I was venting to my cousin Kayleigh the other day about all the sources of stress in my life, and she said " The Dalai Lama would say that those things have something to teach you." So I said to my nervous breakdown, "Breakdown, you are my teacher. What do I need to learn?" The conversation is ongoing. It was tricky that I was going through all that emotional turmoil at a time when my husband was otherwise engaged(he was the best man in Trevor and Melissa's wedding) so he didn't have a lot of time or attention to give me. The drive home from the wedding last night was over an hour, so we finally had a chance to connect and have a real conversation. I realize I don't talk to him enough, and also that I'm not very good at speaking his language. We have very different communication styles, and so many times when I'm satisfied that I've successfully communicated specific things to him Aaron will later inform me that he had a completely different interpretation than what I intended. I sometimes find it frustrating that being in a relationship with someone can be so much work, that it's not enough to simply be in love with each other. A mistake I have repeatedly made is to hold Aaron responsible for meeting all of my needs, rather than discerning which needs are actually best met by him and which needs could be met elsewhere. Also, it's miraculous what some time away from your children can do for your relationship with them. Most days I do actually enjoy being with my kids, but sometimes a mama needs a break. My sister took them overnight, then my cousin took over all day yesterday so I could make wedding cake like a total maniac. I'll be you're all wondering how that went. It all worked out in the end, but I'd be lying if I said there weren't moments when I let loose a string of expletives that would make a sailor blush. Some things that surprised me: -how very, very long it takes to properly frost a cake -how tricky it can be not to use too much sugar -how relaxing it was to transport all thirty pounds of it I would totally do it again. Which is good, because I've already signed myself up for two more weddings. The part I was the most apprehensive about was driving it 62 miles to Gig Harbor, but that part went just fine aside from the fact that I had to periodically remind myself to relax the death grip I had on the steering wheel. I wanted to make extra sure that nothing would slide around, so I used some of that rubber stuff you put under an area rug to keep it from sliding around and duct taped it to shallow boxes. The cakes didn't budge, not even when I missed the street the church was on and had to turn around on a narrow road. Next time I think I'll save myself some time and just line my trunk with my yoga mat. I got there several hours later than I planned. As in 20 minutes before the ceremony started. Everything took so much longer than I thought it would, then I hit terrible traffic on the drive down. I wore shorts and a tank top, certain that if I arrived dressed for the wedding I would get frosting all over myself. The church where the wedding was held was a huge compound, and there were multiple buildings to choose from. I saw signs that said "Fellowship Hall" and parked in the closest spot I could find. I grabbed the bottom tier and made haste into the building, where there were dozens of people milling about and some tables with flowers on them. Naturally I assumed this was where the reception would be, so I made my way to the back of the room where there appeared to be a kitchen and asked the nearest lady if I could do cake set up in there. "You're bringing the cake?" she asked. "Um, yes," I replied, thinking that much was obvious. "Are you here for the memorial?" she asked. "This is a memorial?" I asked, mortified. "Yes. You probably want the reception hall on the other side of the church." So yeah. I waltzed into a memorial in an outfit I would garden in, bearing a cake for a wedding celebration. That's just how classy I am. I thought I couldn't be any more embarrassed, but then I walked by a mirror and saw a streak of frosting about ten inches wide across my chest. So in review, I walked into a memorial horribly underdressed and asked if I could set up a cake I'd just smeared across my boobs. I did manage to get the cake finished and had just enough time to rush to the bathroom, throw on a dress and some lipstick and make it to the sanctuary about 25 seconds before Melissa walked down the aisle. I don't know why I wasn't more concerned about this project. I thought it be easy, but apparently the term "piece of cake" was coined in referrence to a single piece of cake, not 186 pieces of cake. I don't know if you can tell from these pictures, but the lilies have a very faint pink shimmer to them. The sash on Melissa's dress was the same color. Melissa requested Nutella filling. In taste tests, it proved to be overwhelmingly sweet but the flavor was great, so I whipped Nutella with cream cheese and chopped toasted pecans. A one-to-one ratio of jars of Nutella to bricks of cream cheese was just about perfect; it also made the Nutella silkier and less gooey, so it was a little easier to spread without getting the crumbs all excited.

I was nervous about smearing the Nutella filling with white frosting, so I piped a ring of frosting around the cake before I filled it. It worked great, and I didn't have any trouble with the filling mixing with the frosting.

I read so many recipes for Swiss Buttercream, but I kept coming back to Deb's. Hers uses slightly less butter than others, and then I cut the amount of butter even further(but just a smidge). The quantity which worked best for my mixer was eight egg whites, two cups of sugar, six cubes of butter and 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Also, I found I preferred to use half salted butter and half unsalted to keep the flavor lighter. When I do this again, I'm going to borrow my sister's Kitchenaid because I think mine hates me now for all the work I made it do and next time might go better if I can make twice the frosting in half the time. Each batch takes about half an hour to make with all the double-boiling and prolonged whipping. I made four batches that morning. That's two hours just for frosting, y'all. And 24 cubes of butter, in case you weren't adding it up. I'm amazed that I can add at all anymore, after all the calculating this project required.

For all my careful leveling, the cake still leaned just a bit. I used small dowels in the bottom two layers, but now I think I might need to buy those plastic pillar things. I might ask the next person I make a cake for to pay me in craft store gift certificates, because I also think I need a cake lifter.

The cake itself was also from Deb, and frankly I don't know why I ever bothered looking elsewhere. For some time now I've had this irrational aversion to adding any kind of flavoring besides vanilla to chocolate cake, and I realize now how foolish that was of me. Deb's recipe calls for coffee and cinnamon, and I used fresh hot French press coffee in mine.

To die for. I don't even like cake, and I loved this. Ina Garten is always saying that coffee in chocolate recipes makes the chocolate taste even more like chocolate, but somehow I always expected it to come out tasting like a mocha. It doesn't. It adds a lovely depth and keeps the cake from being too sweet. And the touch of cinnamon with the Nutella filling...there weren't so much as crumbs left. I didn't even get my own piece, but my brother Damien shared a few bites of his with me.

This morning as Aaron and I were having coffee on the couch, I looked at him and said "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I want some cake." I have about five pounds of that Nutella cream cheese mixture in my fridge and I've been curious to see how it tastes with yellow cake.

Let Them Eat Cake That Tastes Good

I know what you're thinking. Probably something along the lines of "Good grief woman, don't you do anything anymore besides make miniature wedding cakes?!" I do. But I've discovered something I didn't realize about myself: I love making wedding cake. This comes as something of a shock to me, because I'm not that crazy about cake. It's now clear to me that this is because I've had a lot of bad cake in my life, mostly of the "puffed Crisco and sugar-flavored-fluffy sponge" variety. At some point, someone thought it would be a great idea to make wedding cakes visually stunning at the cost of making them almost completely flavorless. I believe this trend has led a lot of people to mistakenly believe they hate cake. This has to stop. Even if it means that I put everything else in my life on hold to devote my energies to becoming a one-woman revolution, I will bring back tasty wedding cake. The dilemma: three dots...

...or one? I like both.

This effort was with chocolate cake; the bride I'm working with thinks she might want chocolate, so I wanted to make sure I could frost it properly without the chocolate showing through. I used a thin layer of butter and powdered sugar frosting and it sealed beautifully. I used Deb's Swiss Buttercream again, which is dynamite when paired with chocolate. I also took the extra step of dipping my frosting spatula in hot water to make the frosting extra-smooth; I was concerned how this would work out considering the egg-white base of the frosting. Nothing says "frosting failure" like scrambled eggs on top of a cake. But it worked. I'm currently without my favorite frosting spatula, which would allow me to make a much smoother surface with hardly any marks or lines. I left it at the last birthday party I baked for, but we will be reunited soon. We have work to do, that spatula and I.

I've decided that this cake revolution must happen. There's a rash of people getting married through the Summer and early Fall, and I've offered to make their wedding cakes for free. I'm serious about this. I figure I'll do them pro bono for the first couple of months until I really get the hang of it, and after my skills are honed to Wedding Cake Ninja perfection I'll put myself out there as a genuine business. And not just weddings; birthdays, retirement cakes, basically any occasion that calls for a cake. I will make it and it will be both lovely and tasty. And then I'll have to start a separate blog because I know you don't want to read about wedding cake all the time. But indulge me for the next little while, and if you have need of a cake I'd be honored to bake it for you free of charge. All you have to do is tell me what you want, and then let me take a zillion pictures of the finished product.

So, now the voting part: I want to have a name for my little cake business, but I can't decide between Let Them Eat Cake and The Occasional Cake. I like both. Which do you like?