Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's a Sickness, Really

One of the perks of having a husband who remodels other people's houses is that he sometimes comes home with things his customers are done with. Since some of Aaron's clients are pretty wealthy, this is sometimes the result of a simple change in decor, not because the life of the piece is up. We have some lamps and a few bookshelves we acquired in this fashion, and a few nights ago Aaron came home with this beautiful behemoth of a coffee table. Matteas got busy right away, squirreling away some of his favorite toys in the storage drawer. For the last two mornings, the boys have gotten up and headed straight for the coffee table. It is big and beautiful, but it takes up half the livingroom. I already have a tendency to rearrange our furniture too often, and just when I thought I'd gotten the couches just right this table showed up. I think it might be a lesson in letting go, after I realize that it doesn't fit my life or my needs. Still, it is so beautiful. Plus Aaron and I had a really good time hefting it up the stairs in the rain together, and it would be a shame to let that herculean effort go to waste. Aaron suggested putting it downstairs as a laundry folding table, since the top of it is big enough to actually hold all the clothes we own. I'm kind of taking this coffee table as a personal challenge, even though I realize we've gone about it totally backwards. Generally, we have a process of identifying a need and then purchasing furniture accordingly, not trying to cram an over-sized(but beautiful; did I mention that it's really beautiful?) piece into a room that's already functional. I was thinking about this already with regard to the boys. A lot of my parenting philosophy is based on some very simple advice I got when Jack was born: Do what works. A particular activity might be a nice idea, but if it's not actually meeting their needs it doesn't work and needs to go. Sometimes I'd get frustrated with their behavior, only to realize that I had set them up for failure by the way I had arranged their environment(remember the chairs?). Occasionally, the right arrangement means thinking way outside the box(doesn't everyone tie their chairs to the table?) or, more commonly, getting way outside the house. Ever since Jack was little I've had a recurring insight into my boys; I need to regularly put them in a space where I don't have to regulate their behavior. When they're in that kind of space they're free to be themselves and I'm free to appreciate them for who they are. Right now the beach is that space, and every time we go I resolve to take them more often. Of course we still work on behaving well in places like church, the grocery store and the library, but every now and then a boy needs to be free to cut loose and get dirty. Which doesn't really help with my coffee table dilemma, but at least I know where to put the children.

2 comments:

Briana nanimom@outlook.com said...

I notice you forgot to mention your dendency to re-arrange other peoples' furniture when they are not at home. Which is fine, really. It's still working for us.

Kayleen said...

There is no such thing as re-arranging furniture too often. I like to think it's therapy for when you want something new but can't afford it. The new arrangement makes you feel better. I obviously can relate to your tendency.