What a Man Wants

This post could alternately be titled, 'How to Take Most of the Convenience Out of a Crock Pot.' I'll admit it; I've long been skeptical of crock pots. I think this is because I've never really had a positive experience with the contents of one before. Usually I'd run into one at some really cool homeschooler potluck, and it would contain something with a thick sauce, maybe something cheesy with pools of grease floating on the top, and hunks of things I couldn't identify which may or may not have been meat. It could have been dog food. You never can tell with crock pots.

So I was less than thrilled when my dad gave me one for Christmas a few years ago. I thanked him and then stuck it, still in the box, in the garage where it sat for a few years. I think part of me was afraid that if I opened it, I would actually find a meal that had been made with canned condensed soup in there. I loathe canned condensed soup, and while I can see that putting some hunks of animal flesh and some highly processed ingredients into a warm environment is a good way to get consistently moist bites of animal flesh covered in condensed soup, I can also see that it's a good way to get very little flavor out of one's food. So I decided to fix that.

A few years ago, I had an amazing pork shoulder that a friend had slow-roasted in the oven at 250 degrees for about twelve hours. I'd never roasted pork shoulder before, and that one meal opened my eyes to some amazing possibilities. It occurred to me that if the goal was to maintain a low temperature for a prolonged period of time, a crock pot might be the ideal thing. Who knew?

With a thrilling realization that I didn't have to use condensed soup if I didn't want to, I pulled out the crock pot and got to work. First I bought a lovely pork shoulder from PCC, rubbed it all over with salt, and browned it in a hot, hot pan(though I have since purchased an amazing stainless steel pan that browns SO much better) and then tossed a whole chopped onion into the rendered fat. When you make this, pay very careful attention to this part. Not because it's hard, but because it's kind of miraculous. I'm firmly convinced that there are few things in this world that smell better than onions meeting hot pork fat. It's such a powerful and intoxicating combination that I'm pretty sure it's where babies come from, no matter what biology has to say on the matter.

When the onions have had some time to pick up some color, I add a lot of garlic and herbs.

Then I deglaze the pan with some vinegar and add what I guess could be called my version of canned condensed soup: apricot jam. I let it simmer a few minutes until all the ingredients have melded together to form an incredibly delicious sauce, then pour it over the seared pork shoulder which has been waiting patiently in the pre-warmed crock pot.

If, like me, you're new to the wonders of the crock pot, you might be concerned over the apparent lack of juice at this stage. Fear not. Put the lid on and walk away, preferably for several hours. The longer the better, and if you can find a way to actually leave your house and fill your lungs with air from the woods it would be ideal. Hauling branches while your husband builds a house works well too. That way, when you walk back into your house you will go weak in the knees from the warm succulence that now perfumes your entire house. Meat perfume. It's better than it sounds.

I've served this roast with a lot of different things, but I really like the taste of an orange, starchy vegetable with it such as butternut squash or sweet potatoes. In the first picture I paired it with roasted butternut squash(roasted in the oven, which is available thanks to the crock pot) and sauteed kale. It was delicious, but a bit rich. Now I try to serve it with something starchy and then balance it with something light and green, like a simple arugula salad with lemon vinaigrette.

Slow-Roasted Pork Shoulder

1 boneless pork shoulder, 4-8 pounds

1 white or yellow onion, chopped

6 cloves garlic, chopped

1 TB fresh rosemary leaves, chopped

2 TB herbes de Provence

1/3 cup red wine vinegar

1/2 cup apricot jam

salt and pepper

First, turn on your empty crock pot. We don't want the meat to cool down after we transfer it from the hot frying pan.

Next, heat a pan to medium-high and drizzle a good amount of oil(olive, vegetable, or canola) into the pan. While the oil heats, give the pork shoulder a good rub-down with salt on all sides, then sear each side in the hot oil until golden brown. Transfer to the warm crock pot(low if you have 6-8 hours before eating, high if you have 4 hours).

To the hot frying pan, add the chopped onion. Try not to swoon too much over the smell, unless you have a secure counter to hang onto. Swooning over hot animal fat can be dangerous. Don't stir the onions too much; let them sit in the pan, undisturbed, for at least four minutes. Stir them up so the other side gets a little attention, then leave them alone again.

When the onions have some color, add the rosemary and herbes de Provence. After about a minute, add the garlic and reduce the heat to medium(don't ever, ever burn garlic).

After a mere 30 seconds, add the red wine vinegar making sure to scrape up all the lovely browned bits from the bottom of the pan.

Add the apricot jam and stir until the jam has melted into the onion mixture.

Pour the entire contents of the pan over the pork shoulder, add salt and pepper, and put the lid on. Now go about your day as you please, and every once in a while remind yourself that while you're felling trees, raising the wall of a house or maybe just reading a book, that dinner is cooking without any help from you. Allow yourself a satisfied chuckle. The whole process takes less than half an hour of work upfront, and while it's slightly more complicated than tossing high-sodium food products into the crock-pot I hope you'll agree that the results are worth it. The texture of the meat is softly seductive, the flavors of the sauce rich and developed because of the bit with the frying pan. The final result doesn't really taste anything like red wine vinegar or apricots, but like something that has combined in such a way that it becomes more than just the sum of its parts. Much the same way that a baby doesn't resemble separate gametes, but a new thing entirely.

Just before eating, carefully spoon off(and discard) most of the fat from the surface of the now-abundant juices, the ones that seem to have appeared magically from nowhere. If the juice seems thin, ladel it into a sauce pan and simmer over low heat until reduced to your satisfaction. This step isn't necessary, but if the whole process has seemed a little too easy and you feel the need to complicate things a bit, do it. You won't be sorry. Serve to a hungry man you love, and when your five year-old asks you where babies come from answer with confidence, "From the crock pot."