Hold Everything

This is my 200th post. It took me a while to get here, but I feel obligated to point out this blogging milestone. I didn't want it to come and go unnoticed, so I am officially tipping my hat to it. And using it to make a very important announcement. I realize I am late on my next Food Friday post, and that I have not posted pictures of Jack's birthday, but those things are going to have to wait. I went out today. It had been a while. I had a great time. I picked up Rachel and we went to University Village, drank margaritas, ate tacos, and indulged in one of my favorite-things-ever-to-do-with-Rachel: we looked at clothes and trash-talked the designs. And WOW did we have a lot of material to work with. Even Banana Republic, while over-priced and pretentious, can usually be counted on to carry the classics. They've really gone south. I did find a really great dress there that I bought, but it was the only redeeming item in the whole store. The colors are awful, the designs are not well-structured(noboby, nobody looks good in cropped, TAPERED cargo pants) and the fabrics are fussy. I think one of the worst things we saw was a dress from Banana that was thick, thick navy fabric with SILVER PLASTIC BUTTONS, sailor-style, two rows down the front. It was like an ugly stewardess dress. And it was expensive. I don't know how this happened, but somehow, the 80's are making a comeback. I have always been so grateful that I was born in the 80's and thereby saved from most of its fashion, since I didn't care about what I wore until about twenty years later when most of the disasters were long-since over. Now I find that an entire generation failed to learn the first time and once again finds teal, high-waisted skirts with gold buttons a good idea. I'm serious. I can't find a picture of it online, but I saw it in the store. I saw it, and I said to myself, "I have heard the cries, I have seen the need, and I will leave neither unanswered." Which brings me to the very important announcement, the one that is worthy of being my 200th blog post. I'm going to become a clothing designer. I might not get rich, I probably won't be famous, but I don't care. I'm tired of ugly clothes. I'm tired of pants that fall off when I bend down to pick up my baby. I'm tired of shirts that require an additional shirt to be worn under them; isn't the point of wearing any one shirt to wear that shirt and not have to wear a different shirt? Annoying. I'm tired of shirts that stretch out and make me look pregnant in three different places. I'm tired of pants that are designed as if butts are not butt-shaped. Please, respect the butt. I'm tired of ridiculously erratic sizing policies that one season declare me to be well-fitting 8 and the next a 4. A smaller number isn't going to convince me to buy that ugly dress just because it says I'm a 4. If I did, I wouldn't actually be a size 4, I would be a sucker in an ugly dress with body-image issues and poor decision-making criteria. I should state that I'm not sure how long this project is going to take me. I'm not a big sewer. I've never made a wearable item from start to finish, and I've never used a pattern to make anything. But this outrage will not stand, and however long it takes me, no matter how many seams I have to rip out and re-sew(I really hate doing that) I will learn to make clothes. Good ones. That fit properly. And are comfortable. And I hereby swear that I will never, ever make anything tapered.