"The List"

After nine years of marriage my sister Moira said that if she had to "shop" for a husband again, she'd use a completely different list than the one she started with. What she meant was that she had come to appreciate some really unique qualities in her husband that she didn't know he had when they got married. I know exactly how she feels. In my sixteen year-old fantasies I never once pined for a husband who would clean the fridge, but I'm so glad I have one. The bright side to all this nausea is that it gives me a chance to appreciate the support network I have in my friends and family, and especially my husband. I think it's so true that most of us have entirely the wrong list when we think of qualities we'd like our future spouse to have. Of course, there are things that I loved about Aaron before we got married that I still love; he's hard-working, he's patient, and he never, ever loses his temper. I love that he sings along to songs he likes as loud as he can no matter who's listening, and he even sings along to the parts that don't have any words where most people's voices just kind of trail off. And then there's the stuff I never expected and wouldn't have thought to look for. Like the time when Jack was two months old and spent most of his time screaming inconsolably until I was half mad from lack of sleep, so Aaron took over pacing with him at two o'clock in the morning so I could lie down. When I was in labor with Jack he held my left leg for a whole hour because I was more comfortable laboring on my side. Several times Aaron has handed me large amounts of cash and told me to go out with my girlfriends and have a good time. Last night after dinner he put away all the food and cleaned the entire kitchen, then cleaned the fridge. Not exactly the stuff of fantasies, but when you're tired and nauseated there are few things that are more romantic than a clean fridge.