The picture doesn't do it justice. On Sunday after church Aaron and I were both starving, and Jack conveniently fell asleep in the car and stayed that way after we got home and put him bed so we got to cook brunch together. We proceeded to make the most amazing huevos rancheros I've ever experienced. We didn't just eat them, we experienced them. We even made our own pico de gillo and since we were both working it only took about fifteen minutes from start to finish. I'm 13 weeks pregnant today, and I can feel a definite shift away from queasiness. I still love my fruit, but I'm able to drink coffee and I'm making dinner every night again which feels really nice. I've been appreciating my role in our house lately and really enjoying the "ordinary" things in life, like giving Jack a bath at the end of the day, putting clean sheets on our bed and making tasty food. Having other people live with us has made me realize more and more how much the woman of the house sets the atmosphere of the household, and it's both high-pressure and high-reward. On days when I'm grumpy, Jack is cranky and the older guys tiptoe around me. On days when I'm happy, everyone is obviously more cheerful and relaxed. I think it's really cute how sensitive men are to a woman's mood, but it makes me feel guilty for being grumpy sometimes.

Tradition!

One of the grand occasions in the life of the young homeschooler was end-of-the-year testing, where we'd all get together at a big church and pretend we cared about the state's standards of education, eat gross home-made lunches and try not to look too awkward in front of the cool kids. Luckily, there weren't very many cool kids and eventually we all became friends. We started the tradition of making dinner together every year when testing was over because a lot of us lived far away from each other and it was a good excuse to overcome some geography. The first year, we drove up to Iain Bernhoft's house and made our own Indian cuisine, complete with Tristan and Nick's famous naan bread and some not-so-famous onion-peanut butter dish. That was the day I met Tristan and soon after we became friends I met Aaron, who was not wildly interested in me at first but eventually(four years later) came to his senses. Homeschooling and boring tests are behind us, but we have tried to carry on the tradition of having dinner together at least once a year, which was kind of tricky while Iain and Rachel were away at college. I don't think we ever missed a year, and it gets more fun every time. Plus, we're all much better looking than in the homeschooling days.

Happy Birthday Jack!

On March 7th Jack turned two and on Saturday we had a wild party to celebrate. Both Grandmas and Grandpas were there, as well as the Patton family and the Matriotti gang, plus cousin Kaden and Tristan. We wanted to invite more people, but simply could not fit them into our house; as it was it got very hot but everyone had a great time. I cannot believe I have a two year-old, and in six months I'll have two whole kids. I don't really feel old enough to have two kids, but I guess I did get an early start. I turn 24 next month, maybe then I'll feel old enough. Notice in the picture that I have bangs; these are new. I was getting all that lovely new growth in that comes with pregnancy, and I had lots of small, fuzzy little hairs along my hairline. They were really bugging me and my hair never looked very finished, so I went to my trusty stylist Nina and asked for help. It was a cozy night for a haircut as it was pouring rain and dark, so I was really enjoying sitting by the fire at Gene Juarez drinking free coffee and leisurely reading a magazine. I only get my haircut about once a year, which is how I justify spending $50 per cut at a fancy salon, and I always look forward to seeing Nina annually. I was thinking as I sat in the lobby that I really didn't belong in such a fancy place, but it was fun to pretend. When I sat down in Nina's chair to talk about what she'd do with my hair, she started moving my hair around and playing with it as she talked. I saw her smile in the mirror as she pulled something out and said, "Um, you have food in your hair." My cover was blown! Jack had shared some of his spaghetti with me at dinner and I had unwittingly shared it with Nina, who, fortunately, has a great sense of humor.

Domestic What?

Aaron brought these roses home for me the other day. I was at Anna's having girl time and when I came home very late I found this bouquet waiting for me on the kitchen table, trimmed and in a vase. I feel like I should rename my blog; I think the title I gave it was more out of hope and vision than actual reality, at least that's how it feels sometimes. I think something like 'Domestic Roller coaster" would be more accurate. I haven't blogged much at all this month because things have been so crazy, mostly involving germs. Jack was more ill than he's ever been a few weeks back and literally all I could do was hold him. He had a fever of 104, a sinus infection, diarrhea and a staph infection. Then the antibiotics made him gag so he threw up a few times as well, and his rash from the diarrhea was so bad that I had to abandon diaper wipes and put him in a warm bath every time he pooped, which was about six times a day. We got through it though, and it was a good albeit painful lesson in learning how to be there for my sick baby when I couldn't really do much to make him feel better. It made me realize what a waste of time and energy worrying is. While it's impossible not to get anxious when your baby is sick, I realize it does absolutely no good. What did help Jack was to have his Mama be calm and confident and reassure him that while he felt awful at the moment, I knew he was going to get better. I'm also very grateful for my healthy, messy, energetic toddler. Perspective makes such a difference. I was grateful for Jack before he got sick, but it's so easy to take health for granted. I'm enjoying the opportunity to revel in the chaos and craziness of ordinary life, which most days is anything but. Now that Jack is back to his wonderfully-intense self, we've been able to do some of the things we normally do, like go out in public. Yesterday Aaron had a few business meetings in the morning and then was free the rest of the day, so for lunch we took Jack to the Central Market in Mill Creek to play on the tractor and check out the lobster tanks. The seafood guy behind the counter offered to hold a lobster for Jack and let him touch it, but Jack politely declined. He was brave enough to touch one of the clams, but the lobster will have to wait. We got to see our baby last week. Dr. Burdick found the heartbeat but couldn't hold it long enough for Aaron and I to hear, so we got to watch it instead. She had a little tiny ultrasound screen that was pretty small and pretty blurry, but accurate enough to see that this baby is quite a mover and a shaker. It's still too early to tell if this baby's a boy or a girl, but either way this kid is ACTIVE. Dr. Burdick said the baby moves like a Mexican jumping bean. Aaron keeps trying to feel the baby move, but I keep telling him that if I can't feel it yet neither can he. I find myself hoping for a girl, but so far I have successfully resisted the urge to buy anything pink. I'm sure I won't have to anyway, Aaron's mom always wanted a girl and she got three boys and one grandson, so if anything I'd have to buy pants and trucks and dirt to balance out the abundance of girly things which would surely be forthcoming. If Irina's theory of the timing of conception is correct, there's a good chance Jack will have a little sister in the fall.

I've heard lots of mothers say that every pregnancy is different, and am now discovering it for myself. With Jack I got nauseated in the evenings but not until around seven weeks and with this baby I felt awful basically from implantation until about three weeks ago. I still have the occasional gagging session over emptying the garbage or brushing my teeth, but most of the time I feel great. With Jack I started gaining a little weight around three months; so far with this baby I've lost seven pounds. I'm not really sure where from because my tummy is definitely starting to poke out, which is also much earlier than I started showing with Jack. My only real complaint is that I can't find clothes that fit since I'm nowhere near filling out maternity clothes but my normal jeans bother my tummy even though they're not tight yet. I have an OB appointment tomorrow and we'll hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time; Aaron has dreamt twice that I'm pregnant with twins and is convinced there will be two heartbeats. I told him if it's twins he has to start lactating and we're getting a nanny. Jack is starting to think his own bed is pretty cool. We have a little toddler bed for him at the foot of our king-sized bed, but he's never spent much time in it. For a brief time as an infant he preferred sleeping alone, but he quickly grew out of it. Now that we're having another baby I really want to get Jack sleeping in his own bed, but I want to transition him long before the baby's born so he doesn't feel kicked out. He's been really into other people's babies lately, so I'm hoping he won't feel too jealous. He recognizes Irina's blog and whenever he catches me reading it he makes me show him a picture of Alex :)

Are you eating that?

I haven't posted anything in a while because I've been too busy eating. And trying to figure out how to kill Jack's diaper rash, which I think I'm finally making some progress on. When it doubt, mix all the creams together. Poor kid couldn't sleep because he was so itchy. His pink eye is totally gone, so now if we can just beat this rash he'll be good as new. So I don't feel nauseated at all anymore, and it's rather wonderful. I feel really tired, but I'm also getting over a nasty cold which I'm sure doesn't help. What DOES help is when lovely angels like Anna show up at your house minutes after you stagger out of bed, bringing you lattes and fun pregnancy and food magazines. Regular coffee has temporarily lost its appeal and I miss the morning ritual, but that latte was absolutely fabulous. Other favorite foods lately have been cucumbers, tomatoes, peanut butter cap'n crunch, pork chops, green grapes, bread and gruyere. Tonight Aaron added an extra half hour to his drive home just to bring me a gyro and some fries, which I wanted very badly for dinner. They were delicious, and he is wonderful. Our anniversary is on Monday and we're going to spend the night in a cozy hotel with a huge tub while Jack sleeps over with Grandma. Yay marriage!

"The List"

After nine years of marriage my sister Moira said that if she had to "shop" for a husband again, she'd use a completely different list than the one she started with. What she meant was that she had come to appreciate some really unique qualities in her husband that she didn't know he had when they got married. I know exactly how she feels. In my sixteen year-old fantasies I never once pined for a husband who would clean the fridge, but I'm so glad I have one. The bright side to all this nausea is that it gives me a chance to appreciate the support network I have in my friends and family, and especially my husband. I think it's so true that most of us have entirely the wrong list when we think of qualities we'd like our future spouse to have. Of course, there are things that I loved about Aaron before we got married that I still love; he's hard-working, he's patient, and he never, ever loses his temper. I love that he sings along to songs he likes as loud as he can no matter who's listening, and he even sings along to the parts that don't have any words where most people's voices just kind of trail off. And then there's the stuff I never expected and wouldn't have thought to look for. Like the time when Jack was two months old and spent most of his time screaming inconsolably until I was half mad from lack of sleep, so Aaron took over pacing with him at two o'clock in the morning so I could lie down. When I was in labor with Jack he held my left leg for a whole hour because I was more comfortable laboring on my side. Several times Aaron has handed me large amounts of cash and told me to go out with my girlfriends and have a good time. Last night after dinner he put away all the food and cleaned the entire kitchen, then cleaned the fridge. Not exactly the stuff of fantasies, but when you're tired and nauseated there are few things that are more romantic than a clean fridge.