Sleep deprivation has officially taken hold. I have lovely dark circles under my eyes and my vision is a little blurred, and my general grip on reality and sense of the passage of time have certainly been compromised. I was unpacking some dishes earlier while listening to some music and Canon in D(my wedding song) came on. I'd forgotten that track was on this particular CD and it took me by surprise so I put my head down on the box I was unpacking and had a good cry on the kitchen floor. I felt much better afterwards but am finding it hard not to feel sad about how incredibly helpless and vulnerable tiny babies are. I don't know why I think it's sad because Aaron and I take really good care of our tiny(and not so tiny) babies, I'm sure it's just hormones, but it does complicate things unpleasantly. I suppose it's unreasonable to hope that you could go through the experience of growing a human being inside of you for nine months(give or take a few) then one day suddenly have that person vacate your body and not feel some kind of weirdness afterwards. Massive hormonal upheaval. I just wish they were all happy hormones. Most of them are, and I am delighted to report that this baby, whatever his name is, is a champion nurser. I often have to wake him up to feed him, but he's getting tricky enough to nurse right through the middle of his nap and then keep sleeping.
And now, a word about breast size. Several words actually. Mostly words like ginormous, obscene, gargantuan, and the like. As a previously small-chested person I'm not quite sure how to deal with the girls in their current state. Putting on a nursing bra that can actually accommodate them, what with all the extra hooks and straps feels like strapping on battle armor. They ran out of space to invade in the front so now they're encroaching on my armpits. I can't put my arms down normally because they come out so far on the sides. Nursing is definitely a lot different than pumping, because this didn't happen with Jack. Certainly not on this scale, anyway. I'm sure someday I'll have the confidence and skill to nurse discretely in public, but for now I'm lost as to how to wield the things. I bought a "privacy wrap" from Target that looks like a little poncho, I think it'll be quite fashionable in the fall out at the park. For now I think I'll resort to seeking out very private spots for nursing and just not go places that don't have such a place. I apologize in advance to any of you who may inadvertently get an eyeful, I really am a fan of modest breastfeeding but I'm sure it takes a while to figure out how to do it. Having a super squirmy baby who bobs his head all over before latching on doesn't help either, but as long as you're in your own house it sure is cute.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Warning: this post contains Too Much Information
Sleep deprivation has officially taken hold. I have lovely dark circles under my eyes and my vision is a little blurred, and my general grip on reality and sense of the passage of time have certainly been compromised. I was unpacking some dishes earlier while listening to some music and Canon in D(my wedding song) came on. I'd forgotten that track was on this particular CD and it took me by surprise so I put my head down on the box I was unpacking and had a good cry on the kitchen floor. I felt much better afterwards but am finding it hard not to feel sad about how incredibly helpless and vulnerable tiny babies are. I don't know why I think it's sad because Aaron and I take really good care of our tiny(and not so tiny) babies, I'm sure it's just hormones, but it does complicate things unpleasantly. I suppose it's unreasonable to hope that you could go through the experience of growing a human being inside of you for nine months(give or take a few) then one day suddenly have that person vacate your body and not feel some kind of weirdness afterwards. Massive hormonal upheaval. I just wish they were all happy hormones. Most of them are, and I am delighted to report that this baby, whatever his name is, is a champion nurser. I often have to wake him up to feed him, but he's getting tricky enough to nurse right through the middle of his nap and then keep sleeping.
And now, a word about breast size. Several words actually. Mostly words like ginormous, obscene, gargantuan, and the like. As a previously small-chested person I'm not quite sure how to deal with the girls in their current state. Putting on a nursing bra that can actually accommodate them, what with all the extra hooks and straps feels like strapping on battle armor. They ran out of space to invade in the front so now they're encroaching on my armpits. I can't put my arms down normally because they come out so far on the sides. Nursing is definitely a lot different than pumping, because this didn't happen with Jack. Certainly not on this scale, anyway. I'm sure someday I'll have the confidence and skill to nurse discretely in public, but for now I'm lost as to how to wield the things. I bought a "privacy wrap" from Target that looks like a little poncho, I think it'll be quite fashionable in the fall out at the park. For now I think I'll resort to seeking out very private spots for nursing and just not go places that don't have such a place. I apologize in advance to any of you who may inadvertently get an eyeful, I really am a fan of modest breastfeeding but I'm sure it takes a while to figure out how to do it. Having a super squirmy baby who bobs his head all over before latching on doesn't help either, but as long as you're in your own house it sure is cute.
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2 comments:
Sounds like your milk just came in. Believe me, they won't be like this forever. It takes a few days or weeks until your body understands how much milk it needs to produce and adjusts the milk production accordingly, but for now you will be a little uncomfortable.
Yes,I thought your post was a little "over the top" and out the sides and too too much Tirzah, Tirzah everywhere. Run!!
We'll wait a few weeks before we come visit.
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