Yeah, so that happened...

That's a line from another mom's blog that is a handy response to a lot of what's been going on in my life lately. Last night was the first night we encountered Two Needy Boys at the Same Time in the Middle of the Night. Jack crawled into our bed sometime before three a.m., which is when Matteas decided he needed to wake up and eat and poop a lot and then be generally unhappy for a little bit. We started out nursing which brought on a poop, so we finished nursing and cleaned the poop which caused such Emotional Trauma that we had to nurse again, but had too much air in the tummy from the Emotional Trauma and couldn't nurse and that was the beginning of the General Unhappiness. During the vocalizing of the General Unhappiness, Jack woke up and decided it would be a really swell time to try to kiss Matteas all over his face. After some gentle discouragement on my part Jack was Horribly Crushed and wanted to cuddle. Me. Then he starts asking for a baba, which I think is an emotional thing for him right now since he hasn't had a baba in the night for some months. Matteas has been screaming this whole time and Aaron was awake, so I took the baby out into the living room and let Jack and Aaron figure things out. We finally got some good burps out and were able to nurse, at which point I got really hungry seeing as how it was now 4:30 in the morning and I'd been awake for an hour and a half. So I carried the baby into the kitchen and buttered some bread with one hand and paced and chewed. Suddenly, another attack of General Unhappiness, not as violent as the first, but persistent. I'm trying madly to finish my bread and drink a glass of milk so we can all go back to bed, but first I have to take some Tylenol because my body thinks it needs to produce enough milk to feed a small country and I can't lie comfortably in ANY position. I felt that I had my hands full, so what happened next seemed completely unnecessary: I had to poop. Right now. Who poops at 4:30 in the morning?! Babies, and me. Luckily the baby car seat was inside to I swaddled Matteas and we shared an early morning bathroom interlude. I figure I'm there for all of his poops, he might as well be there for some of mine. It's situations like that which make me disdain "parenting" magazines; I really don't need step-by-step instructions on how to properly slice grapes for my toddler, I need a survival guide for how to poop before sunrise with two cranky kids. Or at least to hear similar stories so I can laugh at someone other than myself.